I quit social media

In my life I always had stupid moves, there were also good ones but not as many. Mostly my friends think of me as "the one who likes weird stuff" or "the one who sticks to her crazy ideas." I don't know how I'd decribe me.

People ask why I write. The truthful answer is: I don’t know what else to do. I've always been keen on doing it since elementary school. When I went to high school I started making money off it. I still do it, though, easiest profit from lazy people.You have no idea how much money they can offer for the easiest essay....

The first person to ever tell me my writing wasn't any good- aside from people who are reading this and thinging "wow this sucks"- was someone close to me. And it cut pretty deep. So I stopped writing. My main idea of doing something that actively turned off someone so close to me is a fate worse than a thousand lashes. I started writing again when I removed few people from my life.

I bring this all up to talk about social media. I felt a need to be heard and a need to be seen. I did it because I felt lonely. In real life I can't edit or curate myself the way I can on the screen. I could always be clever. I could always be interesting. I could always be liked, adored, envied and admired. But I was sharing too much.

We’ve become distorted, homogenized, airbrushed Instagrammed approximations of our ideal selves. Our real names and real pictures now stand in as avatars for a certain aesthetic. We are all Human Highlight Films- and the better the highlight, the better the human. This is not finding beauty in the boring. This is projecting beauty in the boring. Nobody is happy as they seem. Or successful. I can't explain the feeling this app gives.I remember Instagram in 2012. No rich people bragging around with cash, no hot chicks in range rovers with expensive dresses or tops that are barely covering their nipples, no freaking highlighting or even contouring your face so that everyone can feel uncomfortable even though the person in the picture is not ACTUALLY looking like that...think I don't need to continue.I just needed a break. It was time to cut myself off. If you watched a TED Talk by Cal Newport you'll agree with him saying going on social media is like going to the casino. You go back in thinking, "I'll get the reward next time. I'll get the reward next time. I'll get the reward next time." And you just sit around waiting for a notification to come around so you can go back.The likes, the comments, the hearts, the claps, the friends, the followers  it's making it dangerously addictive and it's destroying the society.

If you ever thought of doing it, try it just for you. You won't regret it, also you'll get some rest and get to know yourself. GOOD LUCK!

Since I left social media I've noticed myself cultivating deeper relationships with the people I care about. I started listening to a softer, sweeter voice in my own head. Most of my writing is still shit, but I have fun making it. The creation is the beauty itself. My happiness is not material. I love the sea, I enjoy the sun and want to travel as much as possible...My writing is how I pass the time and it's the way I connect to on a deeper level with people. My words will live on long after I've gone, because the internet is for fucking ever. I suppose this is how I will achieve my own trite version of immortality.

P.S. if you're a fan of south park as I am this was the episode that probably went though your head while reading this